Humans are Terrible Lovers.

I know what you’re thinking – this blog is NOT about sex. So, if that’s what you thought, get to steppin’. Actually, I really want you to read this, so please stay.

Mankind can really be awful at times. Look at what we are doing to our planet and what organizations like the KKK and ISIS and Boko Haram are doing all over the globe. These are not isolated events, but things that happen because of us. When we are left to our own devices, we tend to make a mess of the good things we are given.

The longer I live, the more heartbreaks I experience, and the more love I receive, the more I realize these things do not and cannot come from us.

So, if good things don’t come from us, from where do they come? Well, James, the half-brother of Jesus, has something to say about this.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”

I’m beautifully reminded by this scripture that all the good things come from the unchanging, constant God who created us, knows us, and actually wants to know us, which is a shock to me sometimes. So, we learn from this verse that good comes from God.

If love is good, and I believe it is, then it comes from God. I believe love is a good and perfect gift for His children (and even those not in the body of Christ) to give us a pleasing way to relate to one another.

Often, however, love gets distorted. It gets twisted. I have suffered enough heartbreaks to know that love, when treated poorly and abused, hurts people. We have something intrinsically in us that ruins love. When left to us, our selfishness ruins love, and every good and perfect gift.

Just as love, and every good and perfect gift, comes from God, we mess up those gifts with our tendency to serve ourselves. I believe much of the evil in this planet comes from that selfishness and the evil that emits from men’s hearts. While we are not all evil, meaning that we are all not entirely evil, we still contain the evil that is within us in selfishness. We took the good gifts God gave us and messed them up, twisted them. There’s no better example of this than the account of Adam and Eve.

Adam and Eve had one job: to watch over creation and procreate. That’s it. I’m pretty sure I could get down with those jobs. God set a boundary around them, warning them to stay away from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The temptation to be able to recognize both good and evil is alluring, I get it, after being able to think like God, one of the consequences of Eve’s eating of the tree, I can say this is about one of the only “good” consequences. Eve took that, and with Adam’s approval, and disobeyed, and by extension Adam disobeyed, and put the rest of humanity in a tight spot. It was their selfishness that put us in the situation in which we are, but I am also reminded, because of my selfishness, I would have probably done the same.

I am not a good lover. I don’t love well. I see something that I want and I do anything I have to do to get it. I self-serve better than anyone I know, and it makes me a bad lover.

Because of the selfishness in my heart, I cannot love anyone, my fiance, family, friends, strangers, or anyone without God, for He gives every good and perfect gift, and if love is a good and perfect gift, only God gives that.

No one can love apart from Him.

When people who don’t know God love, or try to love, there always has to be a hint of selfishness in them. Those who know God and have an intimate relationship with Jesus are the only ones who can unselfishly love, without agenda. However, just because they don’t have the capacity to truly love doesn’t mean Christians perfectly love all the time. The situation is quite the contrary – we are terribly imperfect lovers, and that’s why we need God.

God’s the only one who can give us the gift of true love – and it is only through Him that we can be complete lovers.

Humans on their own are terrible, selfish lovers, but through Jesus we are made whole and can wholly and truly love people.

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