I say it again: I love my calling. About 2 and a half years ago, God called me to be a youth and music minister at a little place called Falls Creek in Davis, OK, a place forever hallowed in my heart. I remember the moment so vividly. I listened through the chaos of the room, the band playing some somber tune of worship to the glorious Father. I listened, after having felt a tug in my bones to work in some capacity for Him, He finally called me out. For one single split second, on that awfully hot July day, I felt alone in a room filled with thousands upon thousands. God singled my heart out to work for Him and join in His redemptive work. I will be forever thankful.
This post may seem a bit unconventional, as it is more a personal letter and manifest than an argument, as the latter I’m after given to do. Currently, I am watching the Kendrick Brothers’ new flick War Room at 5 in the morning listening to the chorus of snores of sponsors and students passed out from a night of fun and bonding. This is my year’s reflection.
While this is not what the Internet would consider evergreen, or a post that will stand the test of time or is informative in tone, I hope you glean some bit of solace and meaning for your own life as I remember how God has challenged me this year. In case you forgot, I am a Youth Pastor at a small church in NorthEast OK, a city dear to my heart.
This year has presented challenges and pitfalls, some to which I have succumbed and others mastered. Many of those pitfalls and problems have come through my ministry. But, I repeat, I love my calling. I know God wills for His good purposes to bring about change on behalf of those I serve and love.
At times, I know I am inadequate. At times I am tempted to believe the lies I am given to think and even grant them a household in which to grow. I love what I do. I am thankful to God that He allows me to get paid to do what I do. The fact remains that this occupational ministry has such a huge learning curve. I am frequently overwhelmed at what’s at stake and that I am the one God chose to do this where I am. Of all the people in my area, God chose to use me to reach students. I remember the stakes, and I remember my fear, my inner torment, and my incessant inadequacy.
Then, oh the bliss, I look in their eyes. I deliver a scripture God has given me to share, and I remember why I am alive. They connect, not with me and my thoughts and knowledge, with the Lord Himself; in that moment, God draws near.
Tonight, that happened. We collectively reflected on our year, how sometimes our group felt broken. While no words to that effect were uttered, I saw their eyes. The connected with truth written in Hebrew thousands of years ago, translated into English among other languages, yet lives incarnate within the hearts of those who long for it, a truth everlasting.
I know the potential the students possess to live lives to change their worlds. They are catalysts. They are infected with molecules upon molecules of potential energy chomping to be converted into kinetic energy, in motion, accomplishing their goals and ends.
I love my calling. I know God has a purpose for me. He has a wonderful purpose for us all. Just as Geppeto created Pinocchio for a good purpose, so much more so did God create us for a glorious purpose. Here awaits a massive year that will flutter by in an instant. I breathed in that truth. I exhaled that sentiment to the students I was blessed to hang out with tonight. We shared laughs and a split moment of our lives together. However, I hope that because of me, and more so because of God’s working through me, they can influence their circles, setting them into unending motion, expending their pent up energy. As I look out on this year, I thank God He called me to love students. Albeit I take the stakes for granted, I will never stop loving the look in their eyes when God changes their moment. I love my calling.